


Two Peas in a Fucking Pod

by rickbisexualgrimes



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Family Feels, Family Fluff, M/M, Politics, Regan Week 2017, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-11-30 15:13:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11466207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rickbisexualgrimes/pseuds/rickbisexualgrimes
Summary: Every single fucking day Negan has to walk outside of his house and see that "Make America Great Again" sign on the lawn of the house across the street. And since he hates Trump both him and Carl devise a plan on how to deal with it.





	Two Peas in a Fucking Pod

**Author's Note:**

> Day 3 of Regan week , topic: Family 
> 
>  this idea spawned in the regan chat so i give credit to those who encouraged this. also i hate trump, its that simple.

The election was complete bullshit, Negan knew it had been rigged and it wasn't a surprise that Trump won because the country was already fucked up. Thankfully his family shared the same beliefs. Despite Rick being from the south he wasn't a stereotypical southern boy (at least not in political stand points) and his mom was very accepting of them. Not to mention Carl was practically a social justice warrior (as he liked to call it) so that made for some interesting conversations.

 

 

  
Negan popped some Eggo waffles into the toaster, waiting for the delicious frozen waffles to get the way he liked them. Soft with some crispiness to them. He had the day off so there was no reason for him to be up and yet he was. It seemed more habitual for him to wake up early. Soft foot steps approached from behind him, Negan looked over his shoulder to find Carl rubbing his eyes.

 

 

  
"Hey bud, how was your sleep?"

 

 

  
The teenager just shrugged, "Not that good, I had a fight with Enid before I went to sleep."

 

 

  
"Oh shit. What the hell happened now? Was it that Anderson kid again?"

 

 

  
"Yeah.." Carl sighed. "It's just he's such an asshole and she can't see that. I told her that she deserved better, that she should dump him. Then she told me to fuck off after ranting that it was none of my business."

 

 

  
Negan whistled, "You got it bad for her still don't ya? And she's got no fucking clue."

 

 

  
"What's the point of telling her? She wants to be with Ron." Carl mumbled in the most angsty teenager way possible.

 

 

  
"She probably doesn't even know what she wants and you won't know until you ask her."

 

 

  
Carl nodded and walked towards the fridge to grab a carton of eggs. "Thanks.. dad.. I mean.. Negan."

 

 

  
"You know, I've been married to your dad for a while now, you can call me that." He saw the look on Carl's face go soft for a second but their conversation ended when Negan's waffles popped up. After he put an major amount of butter and syrup on his waffles he sat down at the kitchen table. It was a surprise that Rick wasn't awake right now because he did have work today.

 

 

  
Several minutes later Rick appeared with the biggest frown possible on his face and he didn't bother saying 'good morning.'

 

 

  
"Woah there darling.. what's wrong with you? Looks like I'm the only Grimes in the house who ain't in a shit mood today."

 

 

  
"Yeah well you don't have to deal with a murder case and you didn't have to clean eggs off our car early in the mornin.." Rick retorted.

 

 

  
Negan leaped up out of his seat, "Who the fuck did that? I'll fucking rip them apart."

 

 

  
"Well my guess is that its those people across the street.. the ones with the god damn Trump sign."

 

 

  
"Those homophobic fucks!"

 

 

  
Carl looked like he was ready to blow his lid but kept his mouth shut because getting scolded for language was irritating.

 

 

  
"You know I'm gonna have a goddamn talk with them. Show them who not to fuck with." Negan twitched at the sheer thought of those assholes.

 

 

  
Rick shook his head, "No 'cause we can't prove it was them.. remember I'm a cop I know how this works."

 

 

  
"I know you do baby."

 

 

  
"Anyways I gotta head down to the station, I know it's early but this is a big case and Tara needs the help."

 

 

  
"Go." Negan said. "You're gonna kick ass today.. now give me some sugar."

 

 

  
"Ew." Carl gagged from the fridge.

 

 

  
Rick rolled his eyes at the corny phrase then kissed his lips before heading towards the door and leaving.

 

 

  
"You know we totally have to do something about this, don't you? Those assholes across the street have had it coming for a while now." Carl growled.

 

 

  
"I think some amateur investigation is in order. We can't just run across the street and steal the sign, at least not until night time. "

 

 

Carl agreed to that with a nod, "So what we're just going to stare at their house from our window?"

 

 

 

"Actually that ain't a bad fucking idea!"

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Instead of staring out the window all day they both decided to sit outside, pretending to just be barbecuing on the porch without looking like total creeps.  Turns out those assholes were just like the type of red neck trash who would throw eggs on someone's car. Negan hated living in the neighborhood they did only because of the types of people they were surrounded by.  Even taking a small walk with Rick earned them a lot of glares and even some homophobic slurs thrown their way.  He flipped the patties on the grill and Carl sat on the porch swing.

 

 

"Do these people ever leave their house?" Carl snorted. "Literally they've been outside all day drinking beer."

 

 

Negan shrugged, his white t-shirt bunched up just a little bit with the movement. "Eventually they'll go inside to drink some more and pass out.. which is when we'll take that mother fucking sign and burn it."

 

 

"Burn it?"

 

 

 

"Yes, we're burning the shit out of it."

 

 

 

An uncharacteristic laugh came out of the broody teenager and they high fived each other. It was one of those tender moments that you put away in your memory bank or whatever the fuck.  Negan went back to flipping burgers and checking his phone to make sure Rick wasn't texting. Sometimes he got in the habit of being antsy for even a small text and it was stupid because they lived together, they were married and no  one was taking him away. Yet everything still rattled in his brain saying that he'd disappear like Lucille did.  But that wasn't the same.  He had to remind himself of that almost every day.

 

 

 

He had to get his thoughts away from this topic which meant bringing something up that had nothing to do with him.  

 

 

 

"So, has Enid texted you at all today?" Negan asked casually.

 

 

 

Carl's face lowered, "No."

 

 

 

 

"You know what I think? " Negan cocked an eyebrow. "That you're scared she truly wants to be with that asshole kid.. that you don't have a shot. It's why you have yet to tell her how you feel."

 

 

 

"Maybe."

 

 

 

"Take my advice and just tell her. Life really is too goddamn short to waste your time."

 

 

 

 

Carl glanced in his direction, "You're right but how do I do that and don't make a joke right now, this is serious to me."

 

 

 

 

_He's totally just like Rick when he talks like that._

 

 

 

 

"Alright kiddo. First you have to find the right opportunity like when she's alone and its better to do this shit in person." Negan made sure he was still following and he was. "When you get her alone just have a conversation then say that you need to tell her something. The rest is up to you to figure out."

 

 

 

 

The way Carl's looked was overwhelmed but there was a hint of boldness in his eyes that said he would totally go for it, eventually. And he'd met Enid before. She didn't seem like type of girl who was impressed by almost anything (but then again she was dating Ron Anderson.)

 

 

 

Negan looked away from his barbecue and noticed someone from the house was giving him weird faces while a woman laughed. These types of people were so childish with literally nothing fucking better to do and while he exhibited stupid behavior sometimes, he was never like that.

 

 

 

He flipped them off with both middle fingers then carried on with making his food. Whoever these losers were they were in for a goddamn shock when their dumb ass sign got burnt to a crisp.  Negan was going to revel in this, hell, he might even do a damn jig on the ashes. One of the men started to walk across the way which was bad news (for that dude)  because if he so much as laid a hand on Carl.. then he would get his ass handed to him.

 

 

 

"Howdy neighbor." The man slurred. "What seems to be the problem?"

 

 

 

"Do you have a problem with my son or me for that fucking matter?"

 

 

 

"Yeah, we're tired of people like you flauntin' yourselves all over the damn place."

 

 

 

Carl went into attack mode immediately, "Leave us alone or else."

 

 

 

"Oooh or else what? You and your dick lickin' daddies will kick my ass?"

 

 

 

At any other point in time Negan would have clocked that guy so hard in the mouth that he'd be singing the anthem backwards. But he refrained since he had a kid to think about and also Rick would flip his shit.

 

 

 

"Step away from my kid or we're gonna have a goddamn problem.. more than we already do."  Negan was puffing his chest and even though he wasn't as big as this dumb ass, he could still scrap. And he would if any more problems ensued.

 

 

 

The man chuckled under his breath like he was amused but a look of disgust appeared on his face. "Hope you don't end up in an... unnatural relationship like your parents, kid." 

 

 

 

As soon as the guy got back to his house across the street and went inside pretty quickly that was when Negan stopped clenching his fists.

 

 

 

"I can't wait to fuck up that guys sign tonight." Carl snarled with clenched fists.

 

 

 

Negan patted Carl's shoulder, "Neither can I."

 

 

* * *

 

 

 They waited until Rick got home from work and was too tired to deal with anyone, eventually he passed out on the coach before dinner. It was fairly dark out so maybe it was overkill to dress in all black outfits with balaclava's.. but who fucking cares? Negan knew he was dramatic and over the top sometimes. Hopefully no one thought they were actual thieves because this could go pear shaped if so.

 

 

  
Both Negan and Carl ran across the street quickly and checked to see if anyone was looking at them. No one was outside this late. The sign wasn't that deep in the ground so there was no difficulty there. They ran back to their house but dipped into the back yard. You can never be too careful. Some time a few summers ago Negan put a small fire pit in the yard just for occasions like roasting marsh mellows and shit like that. But it became useful when someone wanted to burn papers.

 

 

  
This time around it would be burning the shit out of this stupid fucking sign.

 

 

  
"Wait, plastic usually has a gross smell to it when its burned." Carl recalled.

 

 

 

Negan snorted, "Who gives a shit."

 

 

 

"Someone will smell it."

 

 

  
"You're right, someone will." They were totally in trouble now because Rick was standing there with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

 

 

 

Negan returned the same smirk, "Darling just let us do this, these pricks deserve it."

 

 

 

"They do but Carl's right.. plastic smells really badly when its burned. I got a better idea." Rick smirked even wider.

 

 

Negan was trying so hard not to get turned on by Rick's bad assery but that was a struggle in itself.  "What is it?"

 

 

* * *

 

  
Once the morning came they were all waiting patiently on the front porch, just to see the looks on those peoples faces when they saw the sign. And they wouldn't dare threaten to file a report because Rick was Sheriff's Deputy and also they'd thrown eggs on his vehicle.

 

 

 

  
Negan sipped away at his mocha. "They usually come out at this time. I can't wait to see their fucking faces."

 

 

  
"I can't either."

 

 

 

Their neighbors came out of their average looking home and walked out to their mailbox. Best part was that it was the same guy who harassed them yesterday. So Negan was definitely relishing in this moment. For some reason he turned to look at his own sign like he needed a reminder it was there. It was there but not looking how it had before. What used to have a false slogan built from a disgusting piece of shit now had spray paint covering the words. Negan had wrote _"Fuck you, love is love"_ on it with permanent marker.

 

 

  
Watching the man rip the sign out of the ground then toss it across his lawn was fucking hilarious. And Negan couldn't hold his laughter in. He was almost keeled over at the sight of it.

 

 

  
"Can I talk to you inside?" Rick whispered against his ear.

 

 

  
He didn't bother responding and walked inside the house with his husband. They stood in the kitchen together and Rick wasn't scolding him or saying much of anything.

 

 

"If you want me to say sorry about stealing that assholes sign so I could burn it, I won't."

 

 

 

Rick held his hand up to stop him from continuing, "No.. that wasn't what I wanted to discuss. You're a good dad to Carl and after Lori .. he closed himself off from the world. I know when you came around it wasn't easy for him, but eventually he opened up to you. He may not tell you this but you're a lot alike in some ways."

 

 

 

"Two peas in a fucking pod huh?" Negan joked.

 

 

 

"Yeah actually, he's bold like you and ain't afraid to stand up for himself, for what he believes in." Ricks hand grazed against his arms and they were standing close together.

 

 

 

Negan loved how included he felt in this family, that he wasn't just some outsider who invaded.

 

 

 

"You know I fucking love you and the kid right?"

 

 

 

"We know and we love you too." Rick replied after tenderly kissing his husband.

 


End file.
